I had a conversation some time ago that in terms of relationships, a person might be unhappy or miserable without a partner in their life. This view was of such terrible quality and taste that it made me doubt it. Is joy an inside job or, does it depend on what someone in your life does or does not do? Why is it attached to whether or not you are in a relationship? Can a person not be happy by themselves? What does any individual apart from you have to do with your buzz? While I would prefer not to touch on the fact that there are countless relationships out there in quiet despair; I would love to say this:
There is happiness in so many subjects. And we all can find it outside of relationships. A relationship is not the path to happiness. It's not exciting to stay in a relationship when you have strong intuitive indicators that you should quit. Latching onto someone who is blatantly disrespectful and abusive, isn't the right choice. Staying with someone who deliberately disregards your needs and wishes would not make you smile. Hanging around someone with no integrity and honor for years should not cut it. Can you trust that person to do the right thing when you're not looking? These questions are major keys and can keep you on the track to endless bliss if you ponder on them.
It may be difficult to know the answers but actions speak louder. Why stay? Because you don't want to be or cannot be alone? It's hard to start over? You're embarrassed to be alone? To give the appearance that everything is fine? Even when you know that it's a mess, you stay to make it seem like you're winning. Should a person stay in a relationship with someone who treats them terribly and continues to hurt them for fear of being sad, alone, and miserable? Is that what you deserve? This is the definition of unhappiness. I'm not saying to control or manipulate anyone in staying with you. If you are aiming to do so, your head is in the wrong place.
The foundation of your joy should come from WITHIN, not a lifeline from anyone else. My suggestion to anyone who says to you, "I'm sad without you" or "I'm nothing without you," is to run! It is not a compliment. Don't be flattered by it. With that statement, you are now responsible for this person's emotional state and, you can maneuver their feelings based on your behavior. It would be a burden you would have to carry for the duration of the union. You can mess them up when the conditions change. Is it more enjoyable to be in a relationship with someone who is emotionally unstable or someone who demonstrates emotional intelligence in all they do? It's preferable to align with someone who loves themselves first and doesn't require you to fill that void. Don't be afraid to make the right choice for yourself. If your happiness depends on what anyone else does you're in deep doo-doo.
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