It is hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone if your heart still does. “You can’t help who you love.” Some say it’s an excuse used when we love the wrong person. Is that the case? I'm not implying that just because you can't help but love someone that you're in a horrible relationship. What many don’t know or fail to acknowledge is that love is a choice. Love happens to us if we open ourselves to it. So that’s where the decision begins. The choice to love starts at two stages in the process. It comes before and after we fall in love: Before, when we can choose which people to meet and date, and after when we can choose whether to continue seeing them or break it off.
Of course, sometimes feelings take you by surprise, and in even rarer cases this may happen mutually, become stronger, and potentially irresistible.
Much of romance and love is out of our control. As important as it is to recognize this, it’s just as important to acknowledge the choices we do have. We are responsible to ourselves to make these choices well, which is especially difficult in an area of our lives that is defined by emotion.
We don’t want to be completely rational about love and romance. I'm saying that if we can achieve the right balance of emotion and reason, as well as recognize when we should exert control and when we should love freely, we can steer our love lives away from inappropriate entanglements and disastrous people, and enjoy all the joy, warmth, and intimacy we deserve.
Are you walking around thinking that you’re just going to accidentally fall in love one day? Nobody accidentally falls in love.
You do meet people, and while chemistry, attraction, and emotional connection can hit quickly, you can help who you love. Love is indeed a choice. That choice is 100% yours.
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